How Many Boots Can A Stompy Boot Boot Whilst Stomping?

Whilst having a bit of a clear-out for an upcoming ebay sellfeste, I needed to get some perspective on the stupid amount of pairs of black boots that I currently own. I rummaged through cupboards, under the bed and in dark corners to bring my collection together on the stairs, like some sort of leathery PVC party. Then I took a really awful picture of them for some sort of willy-waving thing, yeah, it was a dull night.

I currently have 21 pairs of black boots, ranging from flat buckle boots that came from Carnaby Street in 1986 to festival wellies that act as a groovy festival rain prevention device, and some nice stompy New Rocks that I wore for work with a nice Karen Millen suit. Fuck yeah. I'm not sure why I have four pairs of cowboy boots as they all look exactly the same, except for some minor variations on the heel. I could have got some RAM with that money, FFS.

TBH, I don't know where half of them even came from. I've probably not even worn some of them and should considering flogging a few pairs but I can't and I don't know why.

There's also a bit of a gap in the collection; I've not got any really tall boots and my Doc Martens have completely vanished. I know one pair disintergrated, I used to wear them when I was a poor student and they were falling apart so I had to take it into the 3D room and glue gun them together every morning :(

One pair starting falling apart as I put them away, leaving horrible, sooty deposits on the cream carpet (cheap, old man-made suede things) so now I only have 20 pairs of black boots. It's progress, sort of.

*Why, yes, I am a bit bored, how can you tell?

zao plugs

Watched Die Another Day (again, ITV were showing Bond films every five minutes) recently and thought that it would be a good idea to make some Zao plugs. If you're not a James Bond fan, Zao would be one of the film's villianous-looking villians, with lots of diamonds embedded in his face and it all looks rather damn cool. However, I didn't want diamonds in my face, I wanted diamonds embedded in my ears. I didn't have any briefcases filled with diamonds so had to go the simulated gemstone route.

I got some superglue and some cheap and cheerful stainless steel 8mm and 4mm tunnels, measured the flare on them (10mm and 5mm in this case) and got some gemstones of the same size from Fleabay. The total cost for each tunnel and gemstone averaged out at about £2.00 including delivery, which was nice, as I was being a right cheap-arse.

After getting the materials it was a seemingly simple matter of gluing the gemstone into the tunnel. This was quite a fiddly job, and was especially hard when I inadvertently glued my fingers to the tunnel and the gemstone adhered itself to my kneecap then fell to the floor, picking up dust, fluff and mysterious hair. Setting the gem in its final position right was also a right pain as the gluey gemstone preferred to stick to fingers rather that the tunnel. Patience, steady fingers and a good cup of tea were key here but sadly, I only had the good cup of tea and that went cold.

Once the gemstone was correctly installed it was left to set for about 24 hours, then the excess superglue was easily removed with some nail polish remover and a cotton bud. At last, they were to bung in me ears so I decided to bling my thing. In Sainsburys. Hell yeah!

Last Of The Nail Stuff

Still off the fags (apart from one or two minor incidents), however, I appear to be getting a bit obssessed by my nails. It's been eating into my gaming time as well, as I've only completed the first two chapters of Army of Two 40th Day, and that was last week. My completion ratio is suffering greately, so, before I go back to admiring Salem's arse, I shall quickly pimp my Konad Abuse Blog -- a blog of Konad abusing and nail bling.

Qui Gon Would Approve

As I am now utterly determined to give up tobacco and smoking in general, I used last week's would-be fag money to get a Vapir 02 Mini vaporiser from Paradox as it's pretty portable and suitable for puffing on molasses as well as medicinal purposes if your into that sort of thing. Came with a free grinder as well, which was nice :)

It works OK too, warms up quickly, doesn't stink that place out, has a handy digital temperature gauge and is just really convenient. It has a couple of optional extras as well, like a battery pack and car adapter which is handy should you ever be stuck in a field in the middle of nowhere.

My personal favourite thing about the O2 is that it has a little belt hook on it so you can hang it off your robes and pretend it's a light saber. I like to think that Qui Gon Jinn would approve of a light saber that dispensed vaporised goodies, he looks that type.

On the downside, the O2 looks like some form of butt-pluggy enema tool from outer space. It is a bit of a git to load, especially in the dark or if you have cack-hands, it feels very plasticy (though is apparently made of a nylon blend), and the power cord could do with being a bit longer but it is still nice to puff on whilst idly watching Jeremy Kyle at 2 o'clock in the morning.