Monday, 14 March 2011

Devaluing The Master Chief

Really, really, really, really, really want a fag but have chosen to colour in the Master Chief with some nail polish then make a pointless post about it instead.

I want this one, pls <3

Saturday, 12 March 2011

WTF Desmond?

Desmond is lazy.

Despite becoming skilled and fit simply by lying on his lazy back on a futuristic memory bed, he is perfectly capable of climbing up the insides of mysterious warehouses, and (by means of ancestoral memory) scaling ancient lighthouses, basilica, fortresses and all kinds rickety old structures that he really shouldn't be climbing. He does this all with the greatest of grace and ease.

Yet he can't be arsed to clamber over this little wall in the Sanctuary and it is really annoying me, so much that I'm wasting a post about it.

Just noticed that he's got quite a flat bottom as well.

Thursday, 10 March 2011

A Nice Bowl of Face Stab

Hello, would you a nice bowl of face-stab?
LoveFilm sent Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood this morning, which is great. I've been waiting to play that since November, and if there was ever a cure for my loss of gaming mojo, this would be it.

I've so far left Rome, carried some flowers for a woman wearing a very unflattering frock, recovered a horse for an old man who can't handle the horses no more, and fired a cannon. Naturally, this is just the build-up to the wandering around beautiful Renaissance Italy (with the exception of that marshy place), leaping about on rooftops and stabbing guards in the face, but I can't be arsed with it.

Actually quite worried as I had the choice of playing Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood or cleaning the kitchen. I paused the game and cleaned the kitchen and now I'm cooking beef in Newky Brown in a slow cooker. Then I'm doing a suet crust and we are having a pie.

WTF is happening to me? Have I become possessed by the rabid spirit of some 50s housewife? Really don't like this shit, need to get back to work, and soon :(

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Welcome To My Gnome

Someone asked me the other day about the collection of garden gnomes that I amassed in 169 hours of playing Fallout 3.

I have a group of damaged garden gnomes queuing up outside my Megaton Loveshack; there are 16 of the little buggers waiting there. I gave them a football to keep them occupied but they're not interested, they just stand there, like they think I run some sort of Fight Club or something. They ain't coming in though, they're far too tatty. This is a respectable establishment -- no damaged garden gnomes, no trainers, got it?

I let all 19 of the intact garden gnomes in because they don't look like they'll start any trouble. They don't get a football, they've got shelter, books, a jukebox and Wadsworth, the robot butler.

I did arrange the gnomes neatly on the stairs (which took bloody ages and ages and ages) but Wadsworth kept knocking them over, despite me telling him to keep the fuck off the stairs. Useless robotic butler, he is always knocking things over but never bothers to pick them up. WTF is that all about? Really, what does he do apart from occasionally provide some clean water and a nice cut and blow-dry? I've actually followed him around the house and he does absolutely fuck all. Useless. It's a good job he's unpaid otherwise he'd be sold for scrap.

BTW, this Fallout 3 blog is rather groovy.

Monday, 7 March 2011

Lost Me Mojo

Something isn't right. I'm still standing next to a dead hippo in Chapter Three of Army of Two: 40th Day, less than 2K away from 150,000 points, Bioshock 2 has just been sitting here for ages and I can't be fucking bothered with any of it; I'd rather write this bollocks TBH. I've definitely lost my gaming mojo, shit what now? Is it time to post pictures of ridiculous hats?

Yes, yes it is,

Posh Polish Plugs

Was a bit bored so coloured in some colourfront glass plugs wot I had.

The plugs started life as these very boring blue colorfronts. They weren't as blue IRL, more of a nice pastelly baby blue, which just ain't my thang, dawg. I put some Orly Lunar Eclipse nail polish on the back of them to darken the blue and to get some nice purple duochrome going, then I chucked a couple of coats of Nfu.Oh 52 nail varnish on the fronts for some blue and green flakie goodness. Lashings of top coat went on top and they were left to dry for a few days.

Not sure why the top one has gone wrinkly, think it's a smudge or something but I had such a bastard of a time getting a half-decent photo of these that I've left it.

Sunday, 6 March 2011

Still Need Saucepans And A Gravy Boat

Mr Luton and I got married in Fable 3 because we couldn't be bothered to pay out £120 for the Registry Office, or invite anyone.

This is not a good way to acquire presents so we'll probably end up doing it properly. Hopefully, my husband won't impregnate me before copping off with the nanny IN FRONT OF ME, followed by fucking off back to his own world, like he did in Fable 3. Then I won't have to set fire to him.